Behind the Bar

A Locals Design Guide to Bars, Restaurants, and Lounges.

Jan 27, 2009

Pimps Paradise


Unabridge


Otis

Neighborhood: Union Square
25 Maiden Ln (between Grant Ave & Kearny St)
San Francisco, CA 94108


In the Know: I should start by saying the size and layout of the space is fantastic! It is extremely intimate (ie. if you go here you must be comfortable with shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers.) I did find the design a but unusual, though. A cluster f*ck of things; separately they are all pretty cool, but once together the theme of the space gets lost. If there even is a theme. The name Otis came from a pimp that used to live in the same neighborhood as the owner. Maybe since pimps are eccentric in life and style the bar had to mirror that? You be the judge. After entering through what only could be described as dungeon doors you would pass a corridor lit by deer antlers. If you decide that you don't want to check your coat or sit on the comfy white bench seating in the hall, you will definitely want to see whats going on with the three vertical and mysteriously lit coral installation wall. This does really look pretty cool but as I said earlier too many random elements can get confusing....

Behind the Bar: As previously mentioned my neighbor is the bartender of this pimps palace. What this means, I pretty much grilled him a lot more than I would have any other person. Apparently it wasn't all that bad because he hasn't egged my house...yet. He said the only thing that he didn't like about the space was the depth of the bar. On the side where the customer sits, the overhanging lip looked like it was only half a foot deep. Not enough room to really comfortably put your legs anywhere. (How I see it, this pushes the bar stool further into the space so the customer doesn't have their knees jammed up against it. Not the wisest of things if the area is already reduced in size.) What I noticed, the height of the seats in comparison to the bar was way off. I did not like the feeling that I could just lean in to sip on my cocktail. Drinks should not be consumed from a horizontal front, they should be approached in an upward and then immediate downard motion.

Who's Who: This would be the absolute perfect place to go if you worked on Maiden Lane. Just think, done with work by 5:30pm...drinking by 5:32pm. And from what it looked like, that is exactly what those Maidenians did. The bar offered a great after work social scene, one that allowed for chatting up people you may or may not know. It also offered an excellent chance to indulge in a little more intimate one-on-one setting. So immediately after you meet someone you can take them upstairs to get away from the hustle and bustle of the folks still in search of their match. Kinda sounds like a cheesy dating reality show, right?

Dec 15, 2008

Oh Sweet Nectar!


Unabridged

Candybar

Neighborhood: Western Addition/NOPA
1335 Fulton St(between Broderick St & Divisadero St)
San Francisco, CA 94117
(415) 673-7078

In The Know: The first I have ever heard of this place was from an anonymous comment on my "I have been flagged" review. It read, "i posted a review of 'candy bar' based on my perceptions of walking by it, reading their menu, and concluding that the place looks like jcrew and wasn't a good fit for the neighborhood." I, obviously never being one to judge, couldn't possibly pass up the opportunity to check out a place that was both full of a certain J Crew wearing type of people in a neighborhood that is not exactly J Crew friendly. And having one of the best HH's I have ever heard of doesn't hurt either. I needed to investigate. First impression: I could not see J Crew in the people at all. I could, however, see where someone might mistake this place for a retail shop. Could it be the over sized book shelf looking object used to divide the front lounge from the back tables? It does look as though it could have housed several sweater vests and polo's on it. Possibly the bar and furniture wood accents? The sharp angular edges and color does come off a bit Banana Republicy. How about the lighting scheme?...

Behind the Bar:
I have talked to all parties that either own or operate this place so if I was to gossip, it would be oh so juicy. However, as previously mentioned, I talk to them every week now. I wouldn't want a high school he said, he said (to my knowledge it is all men that work there) kinda situation. So to save all parties from a civil war, I am going to give you just what I think. Isn't that all that matters anyways?...

Who's Who: One would think that since there are a plethora of board games that it would be fun for the whole family. False! I would not like to see little kids running around this place. One there isn't enough room to run around. Two if im on a romantical after dinner date, the last thing I want to concern myself with is a child staring at me as I deliver sexual innuendos over a game of Shoots and Ladders. (you might be surprise how much that game can get anyone into the right mood;) It is a great place to meet some girlfriends/boyfriends after work. It is an even better place if you go on a date, realize that you have absolutely nothing in common with the person sitting across from you, however they insist that you at least eat dessert. Instead of continuing on with the utter bore that is your date, you can take him to Candybar where at least you have a game and fantastically delicious dessert to occupy your time before rushing home to call your girlfriends and discuss how just because they are a rocket scientist for NASA doesn't make them interesting. Enjoy!


Unabridged

Neighborhoods: SOMA, Civic Center/Tenderloin
34 7th Street(between Jessie St & Market St)
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 355-9991


Here is a chilling question for you: Is it okay for a man to walk around topless if s/he has gotten a boob job? ...


In The Know: Yes, the TL does not have the best reputation, being overrun with some shady characters and all. Luckily, a lot of the bars in this neck of the woods bare no resemblance on the inside to there outside surroundings. This area might be the only place that has velvet ropes and crack whores all sharing sidewalk space. America, F*ck Ya! However, once beyond these pearly gates the space takes on a seductively dark ambiance. A vibrant red/gold floral pattern creeps up every inch on the wall to the right while a brick facade spans the length of the left. I should note that I am totally a fan of wall paper over just painting walls. It definitely looks like the designers actually cared about the space and wanted to put some extra bucks in to make it nice. However, this paper looked as though it projectile vomited all over the wall and wouldn't stop until every last drop reeked of roses and gold. It could have been the sheer height of the space that made me feel floral nausea. If it wasn't for the hot bartender #1 distracting me I might have thrown up roses and gold myself. (*On a side note...

Behind The Bar: Nothing. Nothing goes here because no one told me that anything is wrong or right with the space. Bartender #2 did say he loved the shell looking chandeliers over the bar; loved the upchucked floral extravaganza that was is the wallpaper; thought having an upstairs was 'dope.' Come on #2, I am asking what you think works and what doesn't, not whether you think it is pretty. Lets reserve that kinda judgement for the tranny with huge knockers doing lines of crack off your velvet ropes outside. If he was bartender #1, his delicious mouth would have told me he did not mind the whole establishment is situated with all roads leading to the bar. The ratio of space in front of the bar is almost equal to behind the bar, giving these bartenders ample room to stretch out while the patrons on the other side huddle together. If he was bartender #1 he might have even told me...

Who's Who: Don't worry, the tooth decaying midget tranny will not be the one trying to share a bar stool with you. The crowd seemed to be anywhere from late 20's all the way up to earlyish 40's. I saw a lot of after work people all dressed up in the latest business casual. (mainly because I went after work) If I was to take a gander at the night life scene, I would put my money on a mix of overdressed marina type trying to experience a world outside of Prada bags and popped collars or the club kids looking for a chill spot to exercise their demons before they head to their uber all night club.


Two


Neighborhood: SOMA
22 Hawthorne St
(at Howard St)
San Francisco, CA 94105 (415) 777-9779


In the Know: Generally, I would agree that everything looks better in a darker setting; ambiance, design, your date who you are convinced resembles any number of your favorite bobble heads (I know from personal experience having recently gone on a date with one...come to think of it, maybe it was dark because his head blocked out all the light) My point is, mood lighting works wonders for a design...



Behind the Bar: At first our server was pretty distant, I am guessing because my vamp style makeup might have led her to believe I would suck on her blood. However, once I asked her about the design she was extremely helpful. Overall she was pleased with a far from cohesive design. At first glance I thought the designer did do a great job with space planning....

Who's Who: If you are looking to save a buck, go to the HH. Everything on the wine list is half price (might be the reason I agreed to go on a date with bobble head guy, too much 1/2 priced drinks), and bar bites are $2 and delicious. Anyone that serves pigs in a blanket gets two thumbs up from this girl. The crowd was sparse so telling you who attends is sort of difficult. From what I observed...

Gimme More!

Aug 25, 2008

'Taint'ed Love


Poleng Lounge


Neighborhood: Western Addition/NOPA
1751 Fulton St
(between Central Ave &
Masonic Ave)
San Francisco, CA 94117
(415) 441-1751
In the Know: Do not let the outside fool you. This place has depth, quite literally. Housing two rooms, the Fireside Lounge (front room) and the Temple Room (back room), this multi-functional Balinese inspired space shares its time between restaurant, lounge, and nitelife
hot spot....

*WARNING* Due to the graphic nature of this post (i.e. I worked here for over a year ) viewer's discretion is advised.

Behind the Bar: As I am sure you know, this section is reserved for the good, the bad, and the fugly in regards to how functional the space is for its patrons. Just as important, if not more, is if the design works for the people that spent hours a day/night there. With this in mind, my negative issues with the space heavily out way the positive.....

Who's Who: There is something here for all. The HH crowd consists of mostly young, cheap USF students and older, even more cheap USF Law students :) Dinner is a great time for young lovers,...

Gimme More!

Aug 19, 2008

Oh Johnny!














BAR JOHNNY
Neighborhood: Russian Hill
2209 Polk St (between Bonita St & Vallejo St)
San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 268-0140
http://www.barjohnny.com/

In the Know: What a cute and quaint little joint. Designer Sheri Sheridan (of Otis and Salt House) did a fantastic job in regards to space planning. She complimented ...

Behind the Bar: Missing that extra couple feet in your space? Wanna separate the entrance from the the patrons that are dining next to your entrance?

Who's Who: This space is pretty user friendly. That is, if the user is in their late 20's all the way to early 40's.

Gimme More!


District
Neighborhood: SOMA
216 Townsend St (at 3rd St)
San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 896-2120
http://www.districtsf.com/

If you have ever met me or know anything about me, you would have already guessed that this spot encapsulates pretty much everything I love. Dominating brick walls (originals no doubt), structurally sound metal/wood beams soaring overhead, finished off with dramatic wood accents all over. Ya, pretty 'oh my' worthy.

In the Know: The closest to intimate setting in a not so intimate place. Purely the size alone can be fairly intimidating but all in all the designers did an excellent job getting the rustic, wine lounge theme across. I might have added a few more colors to the palate, perhaps a purple of sorts. It does work, however, going more monochromatic because now you could focus more on the hanging art installations.

Behind the Scene: A very nice bartender had nothing bad to say about the place other than the lack of ventilation. I agree, sweating over my $13 glass of wine was not all it cracked up to be. Should have ordered a white wine.

Who's Who: Recommended for the upper escalon of folks. What this means to you... if you work in SOMA/downtown area and have a nice job, take your friends out for a drink. If you happen to find you are close to this location yet painfully unemployed, and lacking in the friend department, go here for one beer to see what it is you are missing and continue on with the rest of your adventures.

Gimme more!