Behind the Bar

A Locals Design Guide to Bars, Restaurants, and Lounges.


Unabridged

Neighborhoods: SOMA, Civic Center/Tenderloin
34 7th Street(between Jessie St & Market St)
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 355-9991


Here is a chilling question for you: Is it okay for a man to walk around topless if s/he has gotten a boob job? ...


In The Know: Yes, the TL does not have the best reputation, being overrun with some shady characters and all. Luckily, a lot of the bars in this neck of the woods bare no resemblance on the inside to there outside surroundings. This area might be the only place that has velvet ropes and crack whores all sharing sidewalk space. America, F*ck Ya! However, once beyond these pearly gates the space takes on a seductively dark ambiance. A vibrant red/gold floral pattern creeps up every inch on the wall to the right while a brick facade spans the length of the left. I should note that I am totally a fan of wall paper over just painting walls. It definitely looks like the designers actually cared about the space and wanted to put some extra bucks in to make it nice. However, this paper looked as though it projectile vomited all over the wall and wouldn't stop until every last drop reeked of roses and gold. It could have been the sheer height of the space that made me feel floral nausea. If it wasn't for the hot bartender #1 distracting me I might have thrown up roses and gold myself. (*On a side note...

Behind The Bar: Nothing. Nothing goes here because no one told me that anything is wrong or right with the space. Bartender #2 did say he loved the shell looking chandeliers over the bar; loved the upchucked floral extravaganza that was is the wallpaper; thought having an upstairs was 'dope.' Come on #2, I am asking what you think works and what doesn't, not whether you think it is pretty. Lets reserve that kinda judgement for the tranny with huge knockers doing lines of crack off your velvet ropes outside. If he was bartender #1, his delicious mouth would have told me he did not mind the whole establishment is situated with all roads leading to the bar. The ratio of space in front of the bar is almost equal to behind the bar, giving these bartenders ample room to stretch out while the patrons on the other side huddle together. If he was bartender #1 he might have even told me...

Who's Who: Don't worry, the tooth decaying midget tranny will not be the one trying to share a bar stool with you. The crowd seemed to be anywhere from late 20's all the way up to earlyish 40's. I saw a lot of after work people all dressed up in the latest business casual. (mainly because I went after work) If I was to take a gander at the night life scene, I would put my money on a mix of overdressed marina type trying to experience a world outside of Prada bags and popped collars or the club kids looking for a chill spot to exercise their demons before they head to their uber all night club.



Gimme More!

Koh Samui & the Monkey

Neighborhood: SOMA
415 Brannan St(between 3rd St & Ritch St)
San Francisco, CA 94107

In The Know: Right of the bat I knew I was going to love this design. It isn't like every other restaurant that is street level; you actually have to go up a small flight of stairs to get there. (Its not that it is the only restaurant that is like this in SF but I haven't blogged on those places yet so outta sight, outta mind - at least for now so back off!) It is great as far as restaurants go because you feel better than everyone else when you are looking down upon all the other restaurant minions...muahahahaha....
Behind The Bar: A sexy tattoo, slick haired, beautiful eyed, pirate looking chap. Please don't mistake the mention of this pirate with the SF's infamous pirate (General Lee -*picture soon to come) that works (ed) at the Beauty Bar. Oh, no no no. He is a much cleaner cut and of the more delicious variety. However...

Who's Who: Other than the aforementioned pirates' shipmates at the bar, I saw two after work ladies and a group of diners in their mid 30's (ish). Not a whole lot to work with. Let me paint you a picture of what kinda crowd I can imagine would frequent this kinda joint...


Two


Neighborhood: SOMA
22 Hawthorne St
(at Howard St)
San Francisco, CA 94105 (415) 777-9779


In the Know: Generally, I would agree that everything looks better in a darker setting; ambiance, design, your date who you are convinced resembles any number of your favorite bobble heads (I know from personal experience having recently gone on a date with one...come to think of it, maybe it was dark because his head blocked out all the light) My point is, mood lighting works wonders for a design...



Behind the Bar: At first our server was pretty distant, I am guessing because my vamp style makeup might have led her to believe I would suck on her blood. However, once I asked her about the design she was extremely helpful. Overall she was pleased with a far from cohesive design. At first glance I thought the designer did do a great job with space planning....

Who's Who: If you are looking to save a buck, go to the HH. Everything on the wine list is half price (might be the reason I agreed to go on a date with bobble head guy, too much 1/2 priced drinks), and bar bites are $2 and delicious. Anyone that serves pigs in a blanket gets two thumbs up from this girl. The crowd was sparse so telling you who attends is sort of difficult. From what I observed...

Gimme More!

B Restaurant & Bar

Neighborhood: SOMA Yerba Buena Gardens - Upper Terrace
720 Howard St
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 495-9800


In the Know: As I am sure you all know (statement directed towards the SF locals), if the weather is nice, enjoying a glass of wine outside is a real treat. Of course, unless you want to be shunned while wearing your best business casual...


Who's Who: PG rating. You can pretty much enjoy this spot for all ages. Could even be nice to take your kids to during the day; you enjoy a sip of wine, they frolic around the water fountain...

District
Neighborhood: SOMA
216 Townsend St (at 3rd St)
San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 896-2120
http://www.districtsf.com/

If you have ever met me or know anything about me, you would have already guessed that this spot encapsulates pretty much everything I love. Dominating brick walls (originals no doubt), structurally sound metal/wood beams soaring overhead, finished off with dramatic wood accents all over. Ya, pretty 'oh my' worthy.

In the Know: The closest to intimate setting in a not so intimate place. Purely the size alone can be fairly intimidating but all in all the designers did an excellent job getting the rustic, wine lounge theme across. I might have added a few more colors to the palate, perhaps a purple of sorts. It does work, however, going more monochromatic because now you could focus more on the hanging art installations.

Behind the Scene: A very nice bartender had nothing bad to say about the place other than the lack of ventilation. I agree, sweating over my $13 glass of wine was not all it cracked up to be. Should have ordered a white wine.

Who's Who: Recommended for the upper escalon of folks. What this means to you... if you work in SOMA/downtown area and have a nice job, take your friends out for a drink. If you happen to find you are close to this location yet painfully unemployed, and lacking in the friend department, go here for one beer to see what it is you are missing and continue on with the rest of your adventures.

Gimme more!