Behind the Bar

A Locals Design Guide to Bars, Restaurants, and Lounges.


Unabridged

Neighborhoods: SOMA, Civic Center/Tenderloin
34 7th Street(between Jessie St & Market St)
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 355-9991


Here is a chilling question for you: Is it okay for a man to walk around topless if s/he has gotten a boob job? ...


In The Know: Yes, the TL does not have the best reputation, being overrun with some shady characters and all. Luckily, a lot of the bars in this neck of the woods bare no resemblance on the inside to there outside surroundings. This area might be the only place that has velvet ropes and crack whores all sharing sidewalk space. America, F*ck Ya! However, once beyond these pearly gates the space takes on a seductively dark ambiance. A vibrant red/gold floral pattern creeps up every inch on the wall to the right while a brick facade spans the length of the left. I should note that I am totally a fan of wall paper over just painting walls. It definitely looks like the designers actually cared about the space and wanted to put some extra bucks in to make it nice. However, this paper looked as though it projectile vomited all over the wall and wouldn't stop until every last drop reeked of roses and gold. It could have been the sheer height of the space that made me feel floral nausea. If it wasn't for the hot bartender #1 distracting me I might have thrown up roses and gold myself. (*On a side note...

Behind The Bar: Nothing. Nothing goes here because no one told me that anything is wrong or right with the space. Bartender #2 did say he loved the shell looking chandeliers over the bar; loved the upchucked floral extravaganza that was is the wallpaper; thought having an upstairs was 'dope.' Come on #2, I am asking what you think works and what doesn't, not whether you think it is pretty. Lets reserve that kinda judgement for the tranny with huge knockers doing lines of crack off your velvet ropes outside. If he was bartender #1, his delicious mouth would have told me he did not mind the whole establishment is situated with all roads leading to the bar. The ratio of space in front of the bar is almost equal to behind the bar, giving these bartenders ample room to stretch out while the patrons on the other side huddle together. If he was bartender #1 he might have even told me...

Who's Who: Don't worry, the tooth decaying midget tranny will not be the one trying to share a bar stool with you. The crowd seemed to be anywhere from late 20's all the way up to earlyish 40's. I saw a lot of after work people all dressed up in the latest business casual. (mainly because I went after work) If I was to take a gander at the night life scene, I would put my money on a mix of overdressed marina type trying to experience a world outside of Prada bags and popped collars or the club kids looking for a chill spot to exercise their demons before they head to their uber all night club.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

A pleasure to meet you. Clearly, someone who knows what they're talking about.

Sheyna Greenamyer said...

Let me guess, your the guy in the picture strutting his stuff on the catwalk? It was nice to meet all three of you too. (you can't tell but I am pointing to your boobs:)

Pants Gang said...

You're funny. And seriously, where the hell did you find that runway picture?

Sheyna Greenamyer said...

You should have seen the original picture I was going to post. He was topless and definitely would not be allowed on the runway.

Anonymous said...

No, I should have signed it 'shocker'

Sheyna Greenamyer said...

Haha. I want those pictures!! Word on the street is you erased my shocker pix. Unexeptable. I demand you unerase it and send it to me.:) Look me up on facebook, make me your friend, write a great lil ditty, attach only the pictures that make me look amazing,and finally breath. You have done a great thing sport!

Sheyna Greenamyer said...

If only I knew how to spell unacceptable. You would think that since I take such pride im my writing I would revise anything I say. This is not true.