Behind the Bar

A Locals Design Guide to Bars, Restaurants, and Lounges.

Nov 20, 2008

He's not drinking, but i'll take a bottle of wine!


Unabridged


Neighborhood: Mission
1199 Valencia St
(between 22nd St & 23rd St)
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 695-1199


In the Know: When I got there the first thing I noticed was the ceiling. Not only does it appear high but the faux coiffured wood ceiling sets an overall warm, almost aged Spanishesque atmosphere. (which is kinda a weird feeling seeing as how it is an Italian restaurant. Though I guess there are some common similarities.) Now I feel they did a great job with the lighting scheme in regards to the layout of the space. It is divided in almost three sections; a long bar extends the length of the wall to the left, a ridiculously large banquette table and equally high 2-tops down the right, and a farely large open space down the center. The designer did not just haphazardly place lighting down the center of the restaurant and call it a day. They placed some delectably goddy chandeliers over the goddy table and some wonderful carbon filament pendent lighting over the bar. All of this mixed with candles really adds to a great vibe. And for an even more intimate setting, up front and in back they have lower 4-tops and 2 tops so you and your boo can hold hands and peer into each others eyes while toasting to your happiness. (see I am not always cynical ;) As far as the artwork, well none of the walls have any. In its stead, there is an exceptionally interesting floral design present. I actually like the lack of art. One would really have to find the right piece to fit the space and unless you are ready to house a full on installation, less is definitely more!


Behind the Bar: As previously mentioned I was already warm and toasty walking in to this place. That warm and toasty escalated to hot and spicy as I ordered a bottle of wine to myself. At the time it seemed ambitious but that is the greatest part of going to a restaurant with a person that doesn't drink. No awkward, who is going to take the last glass of wine at the end of the bottle. No sitting by, watching your date fill his glass almost to the rim just to turn around and dribble a couple drops into your glass while claiming he thought there was a lot more left and would share his with you but he kinda mixed two different kinds of wine together and is pretty sure you wouldn't like it. (deep breath) Sure guy, seeing through glass is still one of those unsolved mysteries science has yet to understand. Thanks chief, for showing us that guys do know everything about what a woman likes on the second date. Your a saint and my new savior. Moral of this obviously passive aggressive story is while reviewing under the influence is freak'n awesome (restrictions may apply see terms and conditions for details) retaining that information is always somewhat fuzzy. The cliffs notes version I remember from our server is as follows: ...
On a side note: I have to mention the tiling that took place in the bathroom. Whilst I love the look of it, both times I went to the bathroom I found it extremely hard to walk on in stilletos. Yes, I was almost a bottle and a couple shots deep but I believe it was the tile to grout ratio that was the real problem.


Who's Who: This is definitely a spot where locals tell locals to go. The mixture of old, new, borrowed and blue all sat or stood comfortably next to one another. That has to be one of the greatest parts of common tables, you get to do some serious eavesdropping. I highly recommend it for date nights, friend nights, group nights, alone nights, and/or nights that you want to order a bottle of wine to yourself. Thank god to my server that let me re-cork my bottle before things started really heating up!

comments (2)

Nov 14, 2008

I have been flagged!




I thought I would include this little tasty morsel the editors on Yelp just sent me. I have been flagged! Apparently you are not allowed to review a restaurant if you have worked there. It seems that mentioning the gays, or the supreme parenting of Barry Bonds, or what kind of crazy restaurant owners would place a crotchy clown peering out over the stuffy Porsche driving crowd, didn't get the plug pulled on me. Solely the fact that I worked there was enough for the iron hand of the law to squash me. God forbid you read a review on yelp that is actual fact.

Hi Sheyna,
I'm writing to let you know about our decision to remove your review of Boboquivari's. Your review was flagged by the Yelp community, and our Customer Service team has determined that it falls outside our review guidelines (http://www.yelp.com/faq#great_review) because it appears as though you were an employee of the business you reviewed.
As a valued member of our community, we hope you will continue to provide great reviews, while keeping in mind our Review Guidelines. See you on Yelp!
Regards,
E*#^r
Yelp User Support
San Francisco, California

The guidelines state "The best reviews are personal and experiential, and tend to offer helpful suggestions, perhaps even an insider tip or two. " Yet the next guideline is "You should not review your own business or a business at which you have been or are currently employed." Isn't that a conflict of interest? You want an insider look, which I gave you, and yet you don't actually want an insider look. That makes perfect sense. You welcome people to pass judgement on some place they have been to once but a person that is actually in the know, no no no, their voice will not be heard. Now don't get me wrong, I completely understand not wanting a current employee to write bad reviews of your place. Lets face it, other than a hand full of people, who really likes the place that they work and wouldn't want to rip the employer a new a**hole? But why is it we, as employee's, can't keep our employers on their toes also. Wouldn't a review written by an employee make an employer strive to be even better to avoid that review? Wouldn't that, in turn, make the employee like the employer more and hence work harder for the them? Have I lost you yet? Alls im saying is nobody thats wants to keep their job would write something bad about the place they are currently working. And if you are no longer working there and don't plan on using that place as a reference...ever, why the heck is it such a big deal to tell people what it is really like at there favorite dining spot. How could you enjoy your Tuna Tartare w/ Wasabi vinaigrette, lotus chips and avocado cucumber salad knowing the the staff that is serving it is run by tyrant?

Lucky for you, editors of Yelp, there is no other place in San Francisco I have worked because believe you me, I would come at you with a fiery fury no man or woman could ever put out! Grrrrrrr.

comments (4)

Nov 13, 2008

Creepy Crotchy Clown Carnival



Unabridged

Boboquivari's


Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
1450 Lombard Street(between Franklin St & Van Ness Ave)
San Francisco, CA 94123
(415) 441-8880


In the Know: I shouldn't really be saying this because it pretty much goes against the whole idea of me becoming a designer. But I have never been one to follow rules and so I don't see why I would need to now. What I am getting at is while hiring a designer will definitely give your restaurant a better atmosphere which in turn will bring in more business [hint, hint], one does not have to pay someone else a 218.7% mark up for a design. (and to the 92.4% of gay males that run the interior design world just remember, I have graciously walked 3 very handsome, strapping young men out of the proverbial closet so if you feel I am outing you, we're even bitches!) Obviously with the economy in turmoil everyone wants to save as much money as possible so restaurant owners are now becoming designers. And, more often than not they aren't doing such a horrible job. There must be a 'How To' book to bar/restaurant design going around. I am sure within these pages there would be certain must does, can does, and definitely don't, even it you think it is cool, trust me no one else does do guidelines. For example...

Behind the Bar: No need to ask anyone about the woes of this place, I worked here for a brief stint (about 2 years ago now and I haven't been back so if I am off please let me know. I won't change what I have said because once I am on a roll there is really no turning back. I will, however, make a 5pt font sidenote with your comments. Cheers!), and hence have my own behind the scenes take on it. Other than my obvious disdain for the lack of a hostess stand and the fact that it is the creepiest decor ever, the multi-levelness of the place is less than desirable. I understand utilizing all levels of your space. But that third level is ridiculously hard for a server to maintain, especially in regards to the type of people that go there. (That will be discussed in the who's who section) And speaking of that area...

Who's Who: Since this is a more expensive establishment you are going to get a more high-end crowd. Please don't take offense to anything I have said. I love these kinda folks (mostly when I am on the inside looking out). I recommend Bobo's as a place to take a client that you need to impress, a place to take a date you need to impress, a special event where you need to be impressed (and that you don't have to pay for - i.e. birfday or graduation), or parents that need to shut their kids up by taking them to an expensive clown show. I would seriously avoid the last one though, more often than not clowns are scarier than they are funny for kids, and if I am in a fine dining restaurant with kids screaming around me...it is I that will be the scary one.

comments (0)

Nov 11, 2008

You Can Not Fake Awesome! At Least This Marina DB Can't.

You all know my love for the Marina. It's undeniable. But I must admit, I have never in my life wanted to be in that district as much as after watching this video. I have never wanted be in the presence of 'those guys' as much as with this fine gentleman. To whomever you are....please contact me. I must know what makes you tick. I must get inside your head. I can tell you are deep. If it helps, I will do all the sorority hair girl shakes it takes! *you know what I mean ;)

Enjoy!


comments (8)

Nov 7, 2008

Hear no evil, see no evil, and yet im still evil...hmmm



Gimme More!

Koh Samui & the Monkey

Neighborhood: SOMA
415 Brannan St(between 3rd St & Ritch St)
San Francisco, CA 94107

In The Know: Right of the bat I knew I was going to love this design. It isn't like every other restaurant that is street level; you actually have to go up a small flight of stairs to get there. (Its not that it is the only restaurant that is like this in SF but I haven't blogged on those places yet so outta sight, outta mind - at least for now so back off!) It is great as far as restaurants go because you feel better than everyone else when you are looking down upon all the other restaurant minions...muahahahaha....
Behind The Bar: A sexy tattoo, slick haired, beautiful eyed, pirate looking chap. Please don't mistake the mention of this pirate with the SF's infamous pirate (General Lee -*picture soon to come) that works (ed) at the Beauty Bar. Oh, no no no. He is a much cleaner cut and of the more delicious variety. However...

Who's Who: Other than the aforementioned pirates' shipmates at the bar, I saw two after work ladies and a group of diners in their mid 30's (ish). Not a whole lot to work with. Let me paint you a picture of what kinda crowd I can imagine would frequent this kinda joint...

comments (3)

Nov 3, 2008

Who ever said size doesn't matter...

Lets get back to why I started this whole blog to begin with. Hospitality Design, and more importantly what works, what doesn't, who is in the know, to whom you might see at these spots, and my favorite part the subtle stories about certain dates or gentleman callers that take place during my search for the best/worst designs.


Lets progress:

Gimme More!

The Black Horse

Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
1514 Union St(between Franklin St & Van Ness)
San Francisco, CA 94123
(415) 928-2414

Let me just get this out of the way to begin with. Yes gentleman, size matters! If you have heard that it doesn't please check your references again. They may be faulty. There are only a couple reasons why a woman would say that to you: 1. You have been with this girl for some time, possibly dating/ possibly marriage. She is not saying that because she is trying to make you feel better about yourself, although if she is nice she is sparing your feelings. It is quite the opposite, she is saying it because she is making herself feel better that she has stuck with a guy of your stature for this long. (*wink) 2. You are hooking up and in order for her to avoid your pitiful inadequacies, self esteem issues, or a night of hugging her pillow as she listens to you in the fetal position sobbing like a 4 yr old school boy in the corner, she says it doesn't matter. 3. Or lastly, regardless of what happened between the two of you, she is going to tease you to no end, behind your back and to your co-workers, once you are no longer intimate.

In the Know: Now with that said, take everything I just said and disregard it (for a moment). At the Blackhorse it is all about size, and trust me when I say, the smaller the better! I can count the maximum occupancy on my 'lil fingers and toes, and that includes standing room. The bar divides the space in half, roughly 2-3ish feet on either side. Behind the bar is a small (do I even need to say that if the whole thing is small?) service station, a place to make a delicious cheese platter and/or a samich (sandwich for all those properly edumakated folks), and of course an old school bath tub filled with cans...
Behind the Bar: My favorite thing about going to certain bars is having a friend be a bartender. On top of receiveing cheap to free drinks all night, they always give me the honest, inside scoop on what works and what makes them seceretly want to burn the establishment down...
Who is Who: This bar might be considered located in the Marina, but it is far from a Marina crowd. (Thank god!) The couple times I have been there the patrons are nothing but laid back people that just want to enjoy a cozy spot with some friends. I might go as far as to say this could be one of the best bars in the city. I wouldn't go that far, of course, because I am a synical and selfish. I mean if you can only fit 20ish people in this bar, why the heck would I want to tell the masses to go there?

comments (4)

Oct 23, 2008

Red vs. Blue

So this is my third post where I am going completely off topic. (Topic being bar design and the insiders views on it.) But seeing as how we have a major election coming up I feel it is time to get in the know with this whole red vs. blue situation. My sister forwarded this to me and I feel I need to pass these wise words on. And if for nothing else it will give you a little chuckle.

Enjoy!


Dear Red States:

If you somehow manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 90% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too.
You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Peace out,
--Blue States

comments (2)

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)