You all know my love for the Marina. It's undeniable. But I must admit, I have never in my life wanted to be in that district as much as after watching this video. I have never wanted be in the presence of 'those guys' as much as with this fine gentleman. To whomever you are....please contact me. I must know what makes you tick. I must get inside your head. I can tell you are deep. If it helps, I will do all the sorority hair girl shakes it takes! *you know what I mean ;)
Enjoy!
Koh Samui & the Monkey
Neighborhood: SOMA
415 Brannan St(between 3rd St & Ritch St)
San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 369-0007
http://www.kohsamuiandthemonkey.com/
http://www.kohsamuiandthemonkey.com/
In The Know: Right of the bat I knew I was going to love this design. It isn't like every other restaurant that is street level; you actually have to go up a small flight of stairs to get there. (Its not that it is the only restaurant that is like this in SF but I haven't blogged on those places yet so outta sight, outta mind - at least for now so back off!) It is great as far as restaurants go because you feel better than everyone else when you are looking down upon all the other restaurant minions...muahahahaha.... 
Behind The Bar: A sexy tattoo, slick haired, beautiful eyed, pirate looking chap. Please don't mistake the mention of this pirate with the SF's infamous pirate (General Lee -*picture soon to come) that works (ed) at the Beauty Bar. Oh, no no no. He is a much cleaner cut and of the more delicious variety. However...
Who's Who: Other than the aforementioned pirates' shipmates at the bar, I saw two after work ladies and a group of diners in their mid 30's (ish). Not a whole lot to work with. Let me paint you a picture of what kinda crowd I can imagine would frequent this kinda joint...
Lets get back to why I started this whole blog to begin with. Hospitality Design, and more importantly what works, what doesn't, who is in the know, to whom you might see at these spots, and my favorite part the subtle stories about certain dates or gentleman callers that take place during my search for the best/worst designs.
Lets progress:
Gimme More!The Black Horse
Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
1514 Union St(between Franklin St & Van Ness)
San Francisco, CA 94123
(415) 928-2414
Let me just get this out of the way to begin with. Yes gentleman, size matters! If you have heard that it doesn't please check your references again. They may be faulty. There are only a couple reasons why a woman would say that to you: 1. You have been with this girl for some time, possibly dating/ possibly marriage. She is not saying that because she is trying to make you feel better about yourself, although if she is nice she is sparing your feelings. It is quite the opposite, she is saying it because she is making herself feel better that she has stuck with a guy of your stature for this long. (*wink) 2. You are hooking up and in order for her to avoid your pitiful inadequacies, self esteem issues, or a night of hugging her pillow as she listens to you in the fetal position sobbing like a 4 yr old school boy in the corner, she says it doesn't matter. 3. Or lastly, regardless of what happened between the two of you, she is going to tease you to no end, behind your back and to your co-workers, once you are no longer intimate.
In the Know: Now with that said, take everything I just said and disregard it (for a moment). At the Blackhorse it is all about size, and trust me when I say, the smaller the better! I can count the maximum occupancy on my 'lil fingers and toes, and that includes standing room. The 
bar divides the space in half, roughly 2-3ish feet on either side. Behind the bar is a small (do I even need to say that if the whole thing is small?) service station, a place to make a delicious cheese platter and/or a samich (sandwich for all those properly edumakated folks), and of course an old school bath tub filled with cans...
bar divides the space in half, roughly 2-3ish feet on either side. Behind the bar is a small (do I even need to say that if the whole thing is small?) service station, a place to make a delicious cheese platter and/or a samich (sandwich for all those properly edumakated folks), and of course an old school bath tub filled with cans...Behind the Bar: My favorite thing about going to certain bars is having a friend be a bartender. On top of receiveing cheap to free drinks all night, they always give me the honest, inside scoop on what works and what makes them seceretly want to burn the establishment down...
Who is Who: This bar might be considered located in the Marina, but it is far from a Marina crowd. (Thank god!) The couple times I have been there the patrons are nothing but laid back people that just want to enjoy a cozy spot with some friends. I might go as far as to say this could be one of the best bars in the city. I wouldn't go that far, of course, because I am a synical and selfish. I mean if you can only fit 20ish people in this bar, why the heck would I want to tell the masses to go there?
So this is my third post where I am going completely off topic. (Topic being bar design and the insiders views on it.) But seeing as how we have a major election coming up I feel it is time to get in the know with this whole red vs. blue situation. My sister forwarded this to me and I feel I need to pass these wise words on. And if for nothing else it will give you a little chuckle.
Enjoy!
Dear Red States:
If you somehow manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 90% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too.
You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico
Peace out,
--Blue States
Welcome to the second installment of My Marina Experience. (If you missed part 1 please read the previous post before indulging in this tasty morsel.) This addition takes a close look at my favorite creatures (the marina guy and girl) in their natural habitat. I stepped into their mecca, barely able to make it out alive. Now without further adu I bring you:
The Marina Experience: Is there fart scented candles in here?
Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
3200 Fillmore St (between Greenwich St & Moulton St)
San Francisco, CA 94123 (415) 567-0918
Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
3200 Fillmore St (between Greenwich St & Moulton St)
San Francisco, CA 94123 (415) 567-0918
I finally arrive to Fillmore after what seemed hours of listening to the Lucifer's of the world praising each other. My night didn't start until a bit later (11 o'clock) so when I stepped out into the world the sloppy slutty soldiers were hard at work. (this refers to both the males and females forms) After side-stepping some of the worst 'pick-up' verbal diarrhea I have heard in awhile, I arrived at my destination. Now, I don't know if any of you have been to City Tavern but if you are a man and not wearing a stripped shirt with a roofie in your pocket or if you a woman not wearing the uniform and ready to go home with pretty much any guy, well your tour ends here. I, of course, am always wearing the districts uniform and always ready to go home with any number of eligible bachelors, so my access was granted.
Within moments I was swimming in a sea of strips. Fortunately, since it was Fleet Week I got the rare opportunity to see these strips go into battle royale mode with a bevy of white (It was like West Side Story up in here. But way gayer). A word to the wise, gentleman, you will never win when up against a sailor.
Not because they are stronger, in fact the ones at the bar looked like the pre-pubescent sloth from the Goonies. Not because they are less desperate, pretty sure after getting man-on-man action on the high seas they are more desperate and willing sleep with anything. And not because of their outfits, you all look gay to me. It is because of their hat. For some reason, women want to put that silly thing on and wear it around like they haven't been sleeping their way to the bottom. Yes, I'm talking about you, girl in unflattering red dress.
After pushing my way through a bar that is clearly over capacity, I finally find Lindsay. If you don't know the layout of the space, there is one semi-circular elongated bar in front separated by booths from a seated section in the back. Off to the side are tables up against large open windows. That is where I found her. I am extremely happy she chose that as a destination because the smell in this bar was atrocious.
Could it be that someone had plugged in one of those ionic air fresheners and set it to spray the scent of fart every 30 seconds? Or possibly the management knew how to keep the numbers down by lighting fart scented candles and strategically placing them throughout the bar? No, the marina boys just know how to hold their flatulence in until they get to the bar. I think they all put on their stripped shirts, pop their collars, and call eachother to make sure no one has farted until they get to City Tavern. (I can't say women partake in this ritual because as all men know, women do not fart;)
So to make a long story even longer, I have officially reached my quota on you, Marina! I will not be returning for at least another couple weeks. I swear!
(*Of course I can't completely cut the Marina out of my life....I have to have something that makes me feel better about myself;)
...and scene. Exit stage left.
Within moments I was swimming in a sea of strips. Fortunately, since it was Fleet Week I got the rare opportunity to see these strips go into battle royale mode with a bevy of white (It was like West Side Story up in here. But way gayer). A word to the wise, gentleman, you will never win when up against a sailor.
Not because they are stronger, in fact the ones at the bar looked like the pre-pubescent sloth from the Goonies. Not because they are less desperate, pretty sure after getting man-on-man action on the high seas they are more desperate and willing sleep with anything. And not because of their outfits, you all look gay to me. It is because of their hat. For some reason, women want to put that silly thing on and wear it around like they haven't been sleeping their way to the bottom. Yes, I'm talking about you, girl in unflattering red dress.After pushing my way through a bar that is clearly over capacity, I finally find Lindsay. If you don't know the layout of the space, there is one semi-circular elongated bar in front separated by booths from a seated section in the back. Off to the side are tables up against large open windows. That is where I found her. I am extremely happy she chose that as a destination because the smell in this bar was atrocious.
Could it be that someone had plugged in one of those ionic air fresheners and set it to spray the scent of fart every 30 seconds? Or possibly the management knew how to keep the numbers down by lighting fart scented candles and strategically placing them throughout the bar? No, the marina boys just know how to hold their flatulence in until they get to the bar. I think they all put on their stripped shirts, pop their collars, and call eachother to make sure no one has farted until they get to City Tavern. (I can't say women partake in this ritual because as all men know, women do not fart;)So to make a long story even longer, I have officially reached my quota on you, Marina! I will not be returning for at least another couple weeks. I swear!
(*Of course I can't completely cut the Marina out of my life....I have to have something that makes me feel better about myself;)
...and scene. Exit stage left.
It has been ages but now I'm back!
My trip was amazing. It has taken me a solid week to recover from the jet lag so my blogging has gone soft. (Wow, never thought I would use that line when referring to anything other than my gentleman callers but I think it totally works!) My plan was to report back my crazy adventures across Europe, show pictures, make people jealous, and fight global warming. It turns out getting to the computer was a drag, posting pictures was not the easiest thing (especially since the guy I went with was holding them captive and refused to answer an f*ing email), making people jealous was way funner(yes I know it isn't a word) done via phone, and if SF keeps getting weather like what we got going on right now I don't think I want to fight;) To sum it all up, I am back bitches...and ready to judge!
So lets begin...
For anyone that has been reading my past entries (shout out to you, my 3 dedicated friends) you know that I am looking for the insiders scoop on the layout/design of a space. Well this is going to go completely against what I originally set out to do with this blog. I can't help it. I spent 2 whole nights in the Marina, during fleet week and I feel I must drop the design talk for a moment and focus on the perfection that is Marina people watching. I can't even play my most favoritest game in the whole world...it is just to easy. I mean you just can't write this stuff. (of course, I can and I will)
The Marina Addition: Did you say subway sandwich Jared?
Balboa Cafe
Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
3199 Fillmore St
(between Greenwich St & Pixley St)
San Francisco, CA 94123 (415) 921-3944
www.balboacafe.com
*I must say you all should really read the whole post. Much happened pre-arrival to the Marina. But for the type that doesn't want to spend a couple extra minutes reading, here is the edited night you impatient bastards!
*I must say you all should really read the whole post. Much happened pre-arrival to the Marina. But for the type that doesn't want to spend a couple extra minutes reading, here is the edited night you impatient bastards!
I arrived in the marina (shout out to Omar that gave me a free cab ride!), met my drunken roommates, and we head over to Balboa Cafe. Um...I am curious as to what any of those people that frequent that neck of the woods do other
than show off their awesomeness? I feel like it is a full time job leaving absolutely no time for anything else. All I saw was a blur of stripped shirt wearing, fake blonde hairing, Audi key chain hanging drunkards. It twas a vision. We enter Balboa Cafe and since I happen to live with 6 very attractive gentleman (no I am not part of a fraternity...men are just easier to live with), the cougars pounce immediately. I found that the more desperate cougars sit closer to the front of the bar allowing for first dibs on their prey. Well played , ladies! I try and make my way to the back in search of a guy that might have a tattoo that isn't barbed wire around his arm or a man that didn't place each hair strand in perfect unison or even a guy that wears a second hand tee shirt. No luck. I step outside because I need a breath of fresh air and to clear the scent of desperation from my nostrils. Within seconds I am approached by a gentleman that could possibly been the retarded brother of Screech:Him: "Hey, you want to go to this amazing loft party down the
street."Me: "Um, hi my name is Jocelyn. And no."
Him: "But it is supposed to be amazing! Full of celebrities."
Me: "Fine, I'll play along. What celebrity?"
Him: " Jared! You know...from subway."
Me: "Excuse me, did you just say Jared? Like from the subway sandwich commercials?"
Him: "Ya, he is at my friends amazing loft. Right now. Just down the street. You have to come hang out."
Me: *Actually I had no response. I walked away.
Really guy, Jared...a celebrity? And even more concerning, is that how you pick up women? Throwing out commercial stars names. I figure if you are going to throw out commercial celebrities names at least make it the Mac guy. At least he has been in some movies. Oh Marina, you never fail to impress!
Addition 2 will be coming shortly!
Gimme More!
Goedemorgen from Dutch-land! ...yes I was an idiot!
You know how people say you can get stuck in Amsterdam, well... why would you not want to wake up to this place just everyday.
For the 4 days I have been walking around the city. I feel like I am starting to learn the little ins and outs, more like a local than a tourist. It also doesn't hurt that every person speaks english and every person is more than willing to help out with directions and what not. Today I decided to rent a bike. As I am sure that everyone has heard, there is a trillion bikes here. I have never seen so many in my life! They line the streets, sometimes 4-5 deep. It is truly incredible. It keeps the city so clean, and it is so easy to get around.
The past couple days I have really gotten the chance to spend the time alone. I have enjoyed traveling with Ryan but he is coming to the end of his great venture and he is slowing down a lot. I could see that it was wearing on him, and me. I am not used to spending that much time with another person. As an example, the last guy I dated was only for a month and really we were only together on the weekends. That was even a lot of time. I like my me time. So needless to say it was not the way I wanted to start my trip or continue it for that matter. But I can't blame him, in october he will have been going at it for a year. Long trip. I could see that my attitude towards this whole trip was starting to change and I was somewhat regreting crossing the Atlantic. I am happy to report, though, that I no longer have any form of regret for coming over here. I dont know if it is this city (most likely) or my attitude towards the whole trip has been re-thought (I needed to make this trip about me and not him) but now I just can't see any other place I want to be.
So far my days here have consisted of waking up walking along the canals to a local cafe, where i sip on a latte, read or write, and people watch. Sometimes it is over looking a canal, sometimes a large piazza, or sometimes a small hidden alley. Todays choice was in the Jordaan district where old fern covered buildings were only separated by a small path. No cars were permitted. The only feeling to discribe it was quiant. Surprisingly this whole city is very mellow. All the hype that was associated with the pot capitol of the world is only a small section of the city. Amsterdam proper, in general, is very old world home feel. It only I knew Dutch, I might consider not leaving;)
Well that is my mini update for the time being. As far as what the near future has in store, well I can't seem to leave a place that looks like what it looks like here. AI have about 2 weeks left, Amsterdam one more week, possibly more, and Barcelona for the remainder.
Vaarwel!
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Who Am I You Ask
I am looking for the next wow factor in Hospitality Design. You may think that you like a place but save your judgments until you hear what is actually going on Behind the Bar.