Welcome to the second installment of My Marina Experience. (If you missed part 1 please read the previous post before indulging in this tasty morsel.) This addition takes a close look at my favorite creatures (the marina guy and girl) in their natural habitat. I stepped into their mecca, barely able to make it out alive. Now without further adu I bring you:
The Marina Experience: Is there fart scented candles in here?
Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
3200 Fillmore St (between Greenwich St & Moulton St)
San Francisco, CA 94123 (415) 567-0918
Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
3200 Fillmore St (between Greenwich St & Moulton St)
San Francisco, CA 94123 (415) 567-0918
I finally arrive to Fillmore after what seemed hours of listening to the Lucifer's of the world praising each other. My night didn't start until a bit later (11 o'clock) so when I stepped out into the world the sloppy slutty soldiers were hard at work. (this refers to both the males and females forms) After side-stepping some of the worst 'pick-up' verbal diarrhea I have heard in awhile, I arrived at my destination. Now, I don't know if any of you have been to City Tavern but if you are a man and not wearing a stripped shirt with a roofie in your pocket or if you a woman not wearing the uniform and ready to go home with pretty much any guy, well your tour ends here. I, of course, am always wearing the districts uniform and always ready to go home with any number of eligible bachelors, so my access was granted.
Within moments I was swimming in a sea of strips. Fortunately, since it was Fleet Week I got the rare opportunity to see these strips go into battle royale mode with a bevy of white (It was like West Side Story up in here. But way gayer). A word to the wise, gentleman, you will never win when up against a sailor.
Not because they are stronger, in fact the ones at the bar looked like the pre-pubescent sloth from the Goonies. Not because they are less desperate, pretty sure after getting man-on-man action on the high seas they are more desperate and willing sleep with anything. And not because of their outfits, you all look gay to me. It is because of their hat. For some reason, women want to put that silly thing on and wear it around like they haven't been sleeping their way to the bottom. Yes, I'm talking about you, girl in unflattering red dress.
After pushing my way through a bar that is clearly over capacity, I finally find Lindsay. If you don't know the layout of the space, there is one semi-circular elongated bar in front separated by booths from a seated section in the back. Off to the side are tables up against large open windows. That is where I found her. I am extremely happy she chose that as a destination because the smell in this bar was atrocious.
Could it be that someone had plugged in one of those ionic air fresheners and set it to spray the scent of fart every 30 seconds? Or possibly the management knew how to keep the numbers down by lighting fart scented candles and strategically placing them throughout the bar? No, the marina boys just know how to hold their flatulence in until they get to the bar. I think they all put on their stripped shirts, pop their collars, and call eachother to make sure no one has farted until they get to City Tavern. (I can't say women partake in this ritual because as all men know, women do not fart;)
So to make a long story even longer, I have officially reached my quota on you, Marina! I will not be returning for at least another couple weeks. I swear!
(*Of course I can't completely cut the Marina out of my life....I have to have something that makes me feel better about myself;)
...and scene. Exit stage left.
Within moments I was swimming in a sea of strips. Fortunately, since it was Fleet Week I got the rare opportunity to see these strips go into battle royale mode with a bevy of white (It was like West Side Story up in here. But way gayer). A word to the wise, gentleman, you will never win when up against a sailor.
Not because they are stronger, in fact the ones at the bar looked like the pre-pubescent sloth from the Goonies. Not because they are less desperate, pretty sure after getting man-on-man action on the high seas they are more desperate and willing sleep with anything. And not because of their outfits, you all look gay to me. It is because of their hat. For some reason, women want to put that silly thing on and wear it around like they haven't been sleeping their way to the bottom. Yes, I'm talking about you, girl in unflattering red dress.After pushing my way through a bar that is clearly over capacity, I finally find Lindsay. If you don't know the layout of the space, there is one semi-circular elongated bar in front separated by booths from a seated section in the back. Off to the side are tables up against large open windows. That is where I found her. I am extremely happy she chose that as a destination because the smell in this bar was atrocious.
Could it be that someone had plugged in one of those ionic air fresheners and set it to spray the scent of fart every 30 seconds? Or possibly the management knew how to keep the numbers down by lighting fart scented candles and strategically placing them throughout the bar? No, the marina boys just know how to hold their flatulence in until they get to the bar. I think they all put on their stripped shirts, pop their collars, and call eachother to make sure no one has farted until they get to City Tavern. (I can't say women partake in this ritual because as all men know, women do not fart;)So to make a long story even longer, I have officially reached my quota on you, Marina! I will not be returning for at least another couple weeks. I swear!
(*Of course I can't completely cut the Marina out of my life....I have to have something that makes me feel better about myself;)
...and scene. Exit stage left.
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